


The Santa Claus Paradox

by geeky_ramblings



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-20
Updated: 2012-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-31 12:04:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geeky_ramblings/pseuds/geeky_ramblings





	The Santa Claus Paradox

Although Sheldon didn’t believe in the commercialism and hoopla of Christmas, Penny had insisted on celebrating it when Alexei was born.  There were times that he wished he had the forethought of crafting an marriage agreement for their wedding day six years ago, especially now that their four year old was running round their apartment wearing a pair of reindeer antlers and a atrocious Santa sweater made by Penny’s mother.  While there was a tiny sliver of him that thought it was adorable, the genius part of him believed that his child should not be subject to such torture.

The worse part of this whole vile Christmas pageantry was the fact his brilliant boy believed in Santa.  He could not understand how a young man of Alexei’s intellect could conceivable think that someone could travel the world in just one day.  It was balderdash and no matter how much Sheldon wanted to tell his son that Santa was just a bunch of chicanery, Penny wouldn’t let him.

 So in order to perpetrate his wife’s deceit, Sheldon had to dress up like Santa while depositing presents underneath the Christmas tree.   Penny assured him it was just encase Alexei woke up to get a drink of water during the night but secretly Sheldon believed that his wife was playing some kind of elaborate bazinga on him.  He vowed the once Christmas was over, he would exact his own brand of revenge for the Santa suit on Penny.  

Thankfully, it seemed that Alexei was doing the job for him.  Hopped up on sugar, he was running around the living room/kitchen combo with his beloved Flash action figure.  After several minutes of ordering him to go to sleep, Penny was about to give up.  Then she said the magic words; “you know Santa won’t come unless you’re asleep.”

"A few more minutes, please mommy,” Alexei whined.

“Go to bed now mister or else you’ll end up on Santa’s naughty list next year.”  Penny threatened.

“Only if daddy sings me Soft Kitty,” he said innocently.

“Soft Kitty is for when you’re sick,” Penny said in frustration.  Sometimes her son was too smart for his own good.

“Being ordered to go to bed is a kind of sick,” Alexei demanded.

“I will take care of this Penny,” Sheldon said, picking up his tiny genius.

Taking his son to his room, Sheldon undressed Alexei and then put him in his Superman pajamas.  Afterwards he tucked him into his Aquaman comforter tightly. Once Sheldon was sure Alexei was reasonable warm, he sat down on an empty space on the bed.  Seeing his son looking up at expectantly, Sheldon sighed before launching into his Memaw’s special song.

_“Soft Kitty_  
_Warm Kitty_  
_Little Ball Fur_  
_Happy Kitty_  
_Sleepy Kitty_  
_Purr Purr Purr,”_ he sang softly.

“Sing it again, daddy,” Alexei said sleepily.

“Sorry, but it’s time for good little boys like you to go to sleep or else that fat jolly man with the white beard will not leave you present under our overly decorated tree.”

“Okay, daddy,” he replied as his brown eyes drooped close. 

Once Alexei was asleep, Sheldon quietly snuck out of the room and changed into his Santa suit.  Feeling ridiculous, he began to place beautifully wrapped presents underneath the three.  As Penny watched him work, a particularly evil thought came to her brain.  Tenderly grabbing her husband’s hand before practically dragged him to their room.

Closing the door behind her, Penny undressed in record speed.  Smirking, she leaned in and gave Sheldon a passionate kiss on the lips.  Then in a moment of pure lust, she reached into his Santa pants and wrapped her warm hand around his large, hard cock.

“Wait,” he gasped, breaking their kiss.  “Let me get this silly thing off.”

“Leave it on,” she said.

As she had her way with Mr. Claus, Sheldon last though before his brain went to mush was, _“maybe Christmas is not so bad after all.”_


End file.
